Free writing #1

Being upset has never (thankfully) consumed me, at least not yet. Though some very sad things have happened to me i have been able to somehow come back from them. Almost 3 years ago, i moved for the 5th time in my life from the 4th country - from Canada to New Jersey. Needless to say it was a drastic change since I had made some of the best friends of my life in Canada. As cliche as it may sound, the two years I spent with my group of friends in Canada are still to me the best years of my life. I wasn't upset leaving, simply because I had, for some reason, high expectations for my school in New Jersey. Unfortunately it was hard making a good group of friends simply because most kids at my school had grown up together since pre school making me a complete outsider to their lives that had been made around each other. This only pushed me into attaching myself with the past. As a year passed it obviously became harder to maintain the same touch with my friends in Canada but things in NJ were getting better. Nevertheless I never stopped thinking fondly of and dearly missing my friends. Then, just 3 months ago, one of my closest friends in Canada passed away. Apparently he had been diagnosed with cancer over two years ago and had not told any of his friends. At one point, I considered him to be one of my best friends and it hurt to know that he had gone through so much pain without letting any of his friends know. My parents did not know what to do with me as all the pent up anger and frustration I had with my life came out as a cause of his death. I myself did not know how to deal with since not a single person around me knew him nor could they console me. Somehow I convinced my parents that I need to go back to Canada. It was, more than anything, a spiritual experience. Though the experience is a bit too recent for me to elaborate on i fell like ti was a reconfirmation of the bond I still had my friends in Canada. We had been through a lot together and this was a profound landmark in our unbreakable friendship.