Editing activity (sorry I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS!!!!)

seven things they did:
1) intricate details including the position of people around them etc
2) ending with a story and a part of the sentence
3) Picking stories from various parts of their lives but still having a flow
4) Dramatic diction and action verbs
5) Animated dialogues to paint a vivid image
6) avoiding summary but letting the scenes talk for themselves
7) tactful presentation of a focus

five things i did:
1) less summary and more descriptive details
2) didnt talk about the claim i was making but instead let my stories speak for themselves
3) picked certain specific scenes instead of many different scenes since it loses focus
4) tried to use much more dialogue to describe the scene
5) didnt blatantly point to claim

Evaluation proposal

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/32644/how_has_the_harry_potter_phenomenon.html
- The article talks about the cultural impact of Harry potter on society. I will use it to show effects harry potter has had on children's lives and the way they think for the better

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/03/25/cnnu.potter/
- The article describes how colleges have used harry potter in their curriculum. It shows how far-reaching the effects of harry potter are since the book is being used for serious academics.

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/culture/articles/050725/25read.htm
- the article talks about how harry potter revived reading. I will use it to show how it has completely changed the face of the teen novel genre.

I am evaluating the Harry Potter franchise as a force that has changed youth literature using its presence not just through books but through games (quidditch), movies and amusement parks and exhibits to establish it as game changer and face changer of youth literature. 

GAGA THE MOTHER MONSTER

Some arguments made about Lady Gaga include the idea that she is an asexual. The author comments that since she has made being sexy a very processed and unnatural she has made completely not attractive and this become asexual. They feel that her being fake and in effect affected society as a whole and given rise to a paucity of sexual revolutionis-esque feeling in todays youth. 

Freewrite cultural objects

1. Magic has always fascinated us. From the days of alchemy society has always been obsessed with the power of sorcery. When JK Rowling's "Harry Potter" was released it caused a new wave of witches and wizards. Where in the past most were cursed and seen in a bad light, Rowling created an intricate world of wizadry that captivated audiences all over the world of all ages. Apart from the expected fan fiction any book that receives mass appeal would generate, Harry Potter had its own amusement, 8 movies (for 7 books), it's own radio stations, WIZrock, exhibitions and even a quidditch world cup. It has affected the very dying teen genre and sparked a flur of magic oriented books, movies and soaps.

2. I like Big Butts and I cannot lie. Having a big butt is a new thing. One cannot avoid a little shaking of the butt in today's mainstream music. But it does not stop there. Today there are toning shoes, made FOR the butt and butt pads to give a girl's butt a "lift". Rap after rap is made about the rear end of a woman and all women magazines focus on specifically getting a better "butt".

3. Relationships were something to be delicate, personal and made a person vulnerable. But today it is used by main stream music to get people to listen to their music. 

Peer review reflection

This time I felt the peer review session was extremely helpful. My editor pointed out to the various sections of my essay where I could have focused on a particular point or made the story more interesting. He also told me where I could cut out excessive description and detail which doesn't support my claim.
Nevertheless, I felt that reading my editors paper helped me more since I felt that his essay truly embodied the narrative essay. It taught me how to make dialogue an essential part of the argument. His paper also showed me how to tactfully include a message without being obvious.

Disappointing Dinner

Since I usually go a whole day without a real meal, needless to say, dinner is my most sumptuous. I entered the dining hall with extremely high expectations. Unfortunately past the salad and fruit bar (which I have grown tired of) everything seemed either unfamiliar or tasteless. My mother is a pure vegitarian thus I am only used to various Indian dishes on a daily basis, and though my father, brother and I eat meat when we're out, I'm pretty new to the meat world. Thus the array of meat filled dishes didn't particularly excite me. I stuck with the boring old simply chick breast, some coleslaw and fries. I began with my salad that had leaves today rather than lettuce. That combined with my favorite fungi, mushrooms and cheese. All together it was a pleasurable salad experience making me feel good both physically and mentally since I felt I had made a healthy decision. The fruit bowl was my favorite since the chocolate pudding mixed with pineapples and the sort really made everything so much more tastier. When I finally got to my "main" course, I knew it was going to be a let down. I knew they couldn't go wrong with the fries so I began with a few and then began chowing down on the grilled chicken breast. It was an average experience, thought the chicken was well cooked, it is there almost every day at the dining halls thus reducing the taste level. The coleslaw was the worst - a little too sweet for my liking. Overall, a disappointing experience for a very hungry stomach.

Narrative Reading Response

1. The heroic essay was written in a completely new way, having many varied thoughts but many commonalities in the end. This was written in such an interesting way but made so much sense with the writer's tone and motive. They did not choose to refer to any great writers but spend a good part of their essay deriving from and describing experiences. I have never read such pieces before.

2. In "And the Hero will drown", the author describes so many different experiences that show how being a "hero" has negatively affected his life. The purpose to propose this idea that heroes can, in fact, do harm while trying to save the world. This is apparent from the myriad of experiences described and the audience seems to be anyone such as teachers, counselors etc. who often find themselves putting themselves "out there" for others, many times not recieving the conclusion they desired.

free writing #2

whenever i pose the topic of "college" to my friends who are, for the most part, starting college in the fall, they seem to refer to the beginning of something completely "new." They look at it as a place and time where you can develop into a different person. In many ways I see their point entirely but after weeks in summer session I feel like I have experienced the exact opposite. Even though things are very different from high school, I have only become a stronger person on the inside. I always wondered whether when it came down to it would I be the one to take impulsive decisions or would I think things through and it turns i have stuck, for the most part, to the latter.  

Free writing #1

Being upset has never (thankfully) consumed me, at least not yet. Though some very sad things have happened to me i have been able to somehow come back from them. Almost 3 years ago, i moved for the 5th time in my life from the 4th country - from Canada to New Jersey. Needless to say it was a drastic change since I had made some of the best friends of my life in Canada. As cliche as it may sound, the two years I spent with my group of friends in Canada are still to me the best years of my life. I wasn't upset leaving, simply because I had, for some reason, high expectations for my school in New Jersey. Unfortunately it was hard making a good group of friends simply because most kids at my school had grown up together since pre school making me a complete outsider to their lives that had been made around each other. This only pushed me into attaching myself with the past. As a year passed it obviously became harder to maintain the same touch with my friends in Canada but things in NJ were getting better. Nevertheless I never stopped thinking fondly of and dearly missing my friends. Then, just 3 months ago, one of my closest friends in Canada passed away. Apparently he had been diagnosed with cancer over two years ago and had not told any of his friends. At one point, I considered him to be one of my best friends and it hurt to know that he had gone through so much pain without letting any of his friends know. My parents did not know what to do with me as all the pent up anger and frustration I had with my life came out as a cause of his death. I myself did not know how to deal with since not a single person around me knew him nor could they console me. Somehow I convinced my parents that I need to go back to Canada. It was, more than anything, a spiritual experience. Though the experience is a bit too recent for me to elaborate on i fell like ti was a reconfirmation of the bond I still had my friends in Canada. We had been through a lot together and this was a profound landmark in our unbreakable friendship.

Peer review reflection

This time I felt that the peer review experience was different. I found the definition essay more difficult than the previous essays so it was harder to edit the essays. Nevertheless by spending more time on a single paper it allowed me to thoroughly look into the paper and in the process find things i could/should do with my paper too. The person who edited my paper pointed out many valid errors with my essay including where more explanation was necessary.  This was definitely helpful and helped reduce confusion i had in the paper.

Vanity, thy name is metrosexual

1) The author defines metrosexual as "a straight man who styles his hair using three different product (...) sensitive, romantic (...) stereotypically gay except when it comes to sexual orientation."The author relates it to the larger argument by dwelling on the superfluous efforts metrosexuals go through to look good. This supports her argument that the issue lies in something missing from their jobs.

2) The way we view males in society and their roles is at stake by the definition of the term. She makes this clear by referring to her idea of men being like "cowboys" and describing the traditional male.

3) I found the vivid description of men in the "western ranch" especially effective since it truly portrayed the traditional male that many women grow up loving and learning to get infatuated by. It relies on the fact that the audience is familiar with this traditional male and his characters.

Definition topic proposal

Womanhood is the disposition, character, or qualities traditionally attributed to women; womanliness.

Womanhood is:
1) achieving personal goals while fulfilling society's expectations of motherhood
2) a realization that certain physical manipulations are expected and almost required of yourself
3) responsibility over the vulnerability of your sex and its underlying double standards

Topic for definition

My word is "woman"
female human being

Peer review reflection

I felt the peer review was very beneficial since it opened my eyes to many issues with my writing that I would not have been able to spot otherwise. For example, many arguments that I made were not strong and I would not have been able to notice it if not for comments made by my peers. Moreover, reading other papers also showed me the different ways that I myself could approach the assignment. Also making the peer review session intimate and focused gave the task more importance and made me put more time and effort into it. It taught me that peer review can actually be quite helpful since it was not taken that seriously in high school. It was especially helpful to hear myriad of views about my writing.

Rebuttal topic

I will be rebutting "Why gays shouldn't serve" by David Horowitz, pages 405 - 409

Drexler - Smalley response

• What is the main point of contention between Drexler and Smalley?

The main point of contention between Drexler and Smalley is whether or not nano robots will be able to assemble whatever they are manufacturing. Drexler believes that they most definitely will using their arms which have enzymatic abilities. But, Smalley opposes the whole notion of nano robots being to assemble simply because he sees no way of a functioning and logically acceptable arm being built.

• What is at stake in their argument?

In a way, the future of nano robotics seems to be at stake. Since Smalley believes they will not be able to assemble, his argument winning the argument means nano robots will not be able to work at a fast pace and accomplish anything since they will not be able to produce any more of themselves. Meanwhile Drexler's argument overriding Smalley's means nano robotics can reach great heights may it be dangerous ones or helpful ones.

• Name a few strategies they use to refute the other side.

Drexler chooses to use quotes against Smalley's ability as a scientist itself. He delves deep into the area of nanotechnology showing his high competency in the area.
Smalley tries to focus on the topic and questions every argument made by Drexler. He seems to speak in a more straightforward language and rarely uses scientific information and rather logical reasoning.

• How does both Smalley and Drexler develop their ethos (provide an example)

Smalley refers to his piece often in the Scientific American subtly highlighting his worthiness in the scientific community. But Drexler goes as far as referring to various books he has written such as "nanosystems: Molecular Machinery, Manufacturing and Computation"and many others.

• Point to at least one logical fallacy used on both sides and explain why it is fallacy (see GRs pg 17-19)

Drexler uses hasty generalization to label Smalley as a scientist who    "is wrong" because he said one thing is impossible. Smalley uses false analogies comparing boy girl relationships to comapre chemistry.

• Which side to do you think was more convincing and why?

I believe Smalley is more convincing simply because he does not stray away from the issue whereas Drexler spends too much time writing about his various books and focusing very little time on writing about a direct solution to the problems smalley points out. 

Blog #2 - Practicing Rhetorical Analysis

The piece I will analyze: Appearances by Carmen Vazquez (Pg 335 in GR)

Points in Jackson's rhetorical analysis:

Textual

1. Jackson picks up on the fact that in the text, Jordan tries her best to mask the fact that she is from an opposing party so that she convinces her audience that she is not biased.
2. Jackson describes as the speech beginning with Jordan's personal perspective where she conveys that the constitution is not perfect since it initially did not include African-American people. Yet she firmly assures the audience that now she has full faith in constitution and her appeal to the audience's emotion by talking about her love for the country strengthens her cause.
3. Jackson also points out Jordan's use of quotes to make her point. By citing people like James Madison and others she is giving evidence for her various arguments from reputable sources.

Contextual 

1. Jackson talks about the audience: 34 members of the House Judiciary committee who have particularly gathered to decided whether or not the president should be impeached. He also talks about the fact that the speech was not only addressed to those in the audience but millions who watched the proceedings closely on TV. 
2. He gives a complete overview of the hearings and the situation including the result of the hearings in the first few paragraphs giving the reader a clear picture of the time that the speech was conveyed.
3. Jackson points out that Jordan was a low ranking and not very well-known member of the committee and thus had to make and effort to prove her credibility to her audience. 

My analysis

Textual

• Jordan uses much of the beginning of her speech outlining the process and reason for impeachment in a very detailed way. This, though not blatantly, works as a mental checklist for the audience of all the crimes the president has "supposedly" done. Since Jordan would like the president to be impeached, she tactfully cites certain quotes and excerpts from the audience that are most applicable to the situation.

Contextual

• The 1972 elections were overwhelmingly in the favor of president Nixon prior to the Watergate scandal. Thus the scandal was in fact beneficial to the democrats in that it gave them an almost free pass into the white house. Thus it is extremely important that the democrats on the judiciary committee utilize every opportunity to their best efforts in order to make sure the president does get impeached for their victory. Thus Jordan has to keep in mind that democrats will be watching her speech more closely that anyone and this could have influenced her unbiased, yet a speech with a very clear objective. 

Blog #1 - Introductory Post

For this first post, just write 100-200 words about your experiences with writing in the past. How do you feel about your own writing? What have you done in writing classes in the past? What would you like to work on in this class?

Writing , to me, is a required art form to anyone who would like to be heard. It is no secret that a person's eloquence and sophisticated style gives him/her a considerable head start for both superior persuasion and clarity. Writing is a skill that not only has to be honed like any other, but one that has to be mastered to the extent to which its becomes fluent; style and all, a part of  everyday writing. I feel that my own writing is one of great potential but still very unfocused. I am a lover of unique styles and wordplay, but I need instruction in areas of focusing my pieces. I am a creative person, so I love experimenting but often this leads to a very haphazard end product. In past writing classes, I have written many essays, analyzing literature (Shakespeare, Other poems, novels, etc.) and even discussed style in my AP Language and Composition class. In this class, which I feel will be a very interesting one, I would like to make my writing abilities clearer and more effective. I love speaking to people and explaining my views, so I would like to improve the way my thoughts come across to others. I strongly believe in the power of writing and I hope this class will portray my personal style with more clarity.